Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I actually pay taxes

I don’t cotton to rapists

The One Food Registered Dietitians Say Isn’t as Healthy as Most People Think - Yahoo

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Atlas V rocket launches 2nd batch of satellites for Amazon's Project Kuiper megaconstellation (video) - Space

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

What is the funniest husband-wife comedy team ever: Abbott & Costello, Martin & Lewis, Burns & Allen or something else entirely?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Scientists Crack 30-Year Mystery Behind “Holy Grail” Cancer Drug - SciTechDaily

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Facial Stimulation Clears Brain Waste and Boosts Aging Minds - Neuroscience News

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I see through liars

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Big brands are staying quiet this Pride Month - CNN

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I have a reading level above third grade

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

34-Million-Year-Old Snake Discovery Unveils Surprising Secrets About Reptile Evolution - Indian Defence Review

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

Squished Like a Bug By an Ornithopter Playing Dune: Awakening PvP? You're Not Alone — And Funcom's Looking Into It - IGN

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Steven Spielberg will introduce a ‘Jaws’ 50th anniversary special - CNN

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Why do I like to eat my own cum?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Justin Tucker hopes to thread needle between claiming innocence, accepting responsibility - NBC Sports

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I can count

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I can read

I don’t buy bullshit

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”